When my Internet connection went out today, I found myself at a complete loss. When I am not on the phone, working directly with my clients, the bulk of my work requires an Internet connection. Without one, I wasn’t able to do much of what I thought I needed to accomplish today. So, what did I do? I moved through my day more slowly. With a shorter to-do list, I found myself able to work at a much more comfortable pace. I was able to enjoy a leisurely latte break, and I even found time to listen to a CD that I had been wanting to listen to… but just “didn’t have the time”.
Gila Brown, Parent Coach, gila@gilabrown.com 310.497.7461
Double-Action Monster Spray
Monsters are very real. Whether we can see them or not, they exist, if nowhere else, then in the minds of young kids. The fact that they are so elusive and hard to locate, only makes them that much scarier.
In Search of Oak Trees
Remember the last time you tried leaning back on something that wasn’t quite firmly attached to the ground? You leaned with some of your weight, but not all of it. You knew that if you leaned back too far, you’d fall. You might even have used your abdominal muscles to hold yourself up. If you compare that feeling to one of leaning back on a large, oak tree, the feeling is quite different. You know the oak isn’t going anywhere. You can relax and put all your weight on it. You won’t fall. It will hold you up.
On Miscarriages: A Personal Story
Two years ago this month, I had a miscarriage. I was 12 weeks pregnant at the time. Having a miscarriage is an all-consuming and unique experience in that it encompasses both physical and emotional loses. The toll it takes on your body is extraordinarily taxing, all the while your heart is grappling to make sense of it all.
Pesky, Monstrous, Snot-Nosed Liars
In May, the Huffington Post printed an article announcing that the restaurant Panera deemed a Pay-What-You-Want Location a success. In other words, this restaurant allows patrons to pay that they thing is fair for their meal. According to the article, 60 percent leave the suggested amount; 20 percent leave more; and 20 percent less. This model sounds absurd. How can the establishment trust that they will not lose money if they rely on patrons to chose their own price?
Reinstating Do-Overs
Remember ‘do-overs’? As kids, whenever a game was started, after just a few moves, someone would misstep and request a do-over. Usually, this was a result of a misunderstanding of the general rules of the game. Occasionally, requesting a do-over was sometimes misconstrued as cheating. This was based on the thinking that there is only one chance to get things right and that we should all be expected to make the right moves the first time around. As adults, we’ve all experienced events that prove how unrealistic that plan actually is. So, I motion to reinstate the do-over option; not just for board games, but for the real life game of parenting.
Don’t Think About A Pink Elephant.
What are you thinking about right now? What’s the first image that pops into your head? A pink elephant. In order to not-think of a pink elephant, you first have to think about a pink elephant in order to know what not to think about.
Transitions: Getting from here to there, gracefully
Imagine that you’re watching your favorite TV program when the phone rings. Or, imagine that you’re in the kitchen making yourself a snack when your little one spills her yogurt on the dog. It’s frustrating when we’re in the middle of something and life requires us to shift gears before we’re ready. As challenging as these transitions are for us, they can be even more upsetting to little ones. While you and I can appreciate the consequences of a yogurt-covered dog running through the house, or a missed important call, it’s more difficult for kids to appreciate what may or may not happen in the future, as a result of their actions right now.
Disruptive Behavior? Fantastic!
I always tell parents to welcome bad behavior, and here’s why: When kids misbehave it’s their way of saying, “Mom, I don’t have the vocabulary or the insight, and I am not yet articulate enough to express my frustrations to you verbally. But, I am really angry, so instead, I’m just going to punch my brother”.
Now, while punching your brother is not an acceptable expression of frustration, these episodes give parents what we teachers like to call “teachable moments”.
When Daddy’s Away: Helping Kids Deal with Grief & Loss
The husband of a very dear, old friend of mine was recently deployed back to Afghanistan, leaving mom and their 2 kids on their own for 9 months. Helping 2 young children handle this situation while dealing with her own emotions, is quite a lot to ask of anyone. So, I’d like to offer some suggestions for helping kids deal with grief and loss.